If I could dream myself away...

It's been a while, hasn't it?

I'm sorry that I've been so far away from DA. I've been meaning to put up a Journal for quite some time, but I've been busy. My school is rigorous; it really doesn't compare to most other schools. With five students in the high school, when we don't get along, it causes some major problems. When brought together to resolve them, no one could admit that what they were doing was wrong, myself included.

However, the issues that were had with me were issues that should have been left between me and the teachers in most cases. Now, I insulted a classmate unintentionally, and for that I was very repentant. I thought that an apology would make me feel better, but on the contrary, I felt worse. The apology almost went unheard, and the response to it was quite simply that I was lucky that the insulted person was not of a conniving or vengeful nature. There was no acceptance or forgiveness in the tone of the insulted person. Some of the other issues had with me were hardly their business; I will admit that I did borrow money from a few of my teachers and that that was inappropriate of me. I did pay back the money and I've refrained from asking for more money specifically from teachers. Another issue that was said was that I was quite simply disrespectful to my teachers. This rubbed me the wrong way because I take pride in my manners, but I see that the idea of "disrespect" greatly differs between me the person who brought it up. I base disrespect on the relationship I have with the other person, and I am most certain that if the teachers themselves viewed me as disrespectful, I would've been told by them. It is none of my classmates' concern or business as to how I treat them. I do feel myself to be a victim where they are concerned because I definitely feel targeted. I am also not the only student who feels this way. There is a clear divide in the high school, however, and that is seen not only by two-fifths of the high school but by our biology teacher.

It has become quite clear to me that I am the outcast and the scapegoat. I thought that I wouldn't have to deal with this kind of treatment when I was not at McCallum, but clearly, I was wrong. Now, more than ever, I miss my friends from McCallum and from Dallas. This road along which I walk has become unbearably lonely.

That aside, I will be doing some requests. I'm still a bit behind (sorry, Lunar.), but I'm getting off of my ass now and am ready to do some work. I love you all, and I sincerely hope that you all are doing much better than I am. XD

J'taime, Ich liebe dich my many, wonderful friends.

Jamie